![]() ![]() The biggest piece of gameplay is choosing one of the five options you have for rich guys you get to punch between rounds. Who Wants to Beat Up a Millionaire? 2000 (no one knows) Hypnotix Simon & Schusterįor anyone who avoided games that never scored above a 5/10 in any magazine (the highest being from IGN, which is slightly lower than the 6/10 a reviewer gave to the experience of being drowned), let me give you a rundown of what this is: Who Wants to Beat Up a Millionaire? is a punch-for-punch parody of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, except the host is a smart-ass quip machine named Egregious Philin, the questions are snarkier, and after every round you get right, you get to beat the living shit out of a rich guy of your choice. I’m not disparaging the pleasant memories you have of the slow moving platformer with blocky graphics that look like they belong on the N64. I get it, your grandma got you the cute kangaroo game for Christmas and you played it straight through, like, 30 times until your mom finally let you get Grand Theft Auto. I understand there’s some level of revisionist nostalgia for this game in 2023. X-Ray Interactive decided that it would be more fun to add some jank, making it frustrating to move your character and control the camera. ![]() By the year 2001, developers had figured out how to make third-person controls feel fluid and satisfying. Kao the Kangaroo is a game that harkens back to the early days of 3D platformers only 5 years before its release. We really need to sell the fact that he’s a kangaroo, and that kangaroos jump.” Kao the Kangaroo FebruX-Ray Interactive Titus Interactive “I think it’s important that we make it clear that Kao is jumping on the cover. Even though the game has neat anime-mixed-with-CGI cutscenes and a great ending, forget the game and the name Elemental Gimmick Gear, because honestly it’s pretty dumb. Forget the story of the E.G.G., the titular robot’s owner (who has amnesia and forgot a lot of things), and bad guy Psycho Mother. Forget the lame melee combat in the Metroidvania-esque overworld and the lamer boss fights that inexplicably change to 3D battles with awful hotboxes. Forget the weird translation issues that may have led to the apocalyptic event that kick-starts the story described as “The Breeding”. Well, I’m here to tell you to forget this game. You want to know how high it got, this old inexplicable game only you remember that you rented one weekend and fell in love with. Congrats on remembering this game, as I’d never heard of it before this review.īut I can see why you’re here. I’m speaking to you directly since I have to assume you’re the only one. Hello, odd person who saw this and immediately had to know where Elemental Gimmick Gear placed on our list. (Elemental Gimmick Gear) DecemBirthday Vatical Entertainment RIP to every Godzilla-sized roidfuck in this game’s tendons, testes, and integrity. And that’s clearly because there’s not even a national anthem in this one. Solid, but unspectacular to literally anyone except the poor bastards who played the previous game. It feels just as fluid as last time, but with actual hitting and pitching mechanics that aren’t just boiled down to “go up there and pray for luck, kid.” It also still has an arcade-y feel to it, which is honestly sorely missed in today’s big baseball titles. With Visual Concepts taking over from whatever poor souls made the previous game, WSB 2K2 is actually a significant step up. Also because of the way sports games craft rosters and given this late ass release date coming a month shy of the end of the 2001 season, this is likely the last game ever released where you can play as the Greatest Steroid Spokesperson of All-Time, Mark McGwire. And while 1999 was sort of the beginning of hitters realizing they didn’t need protein shakes and just needed juice (wink), 2000 was the year droves of muhfuckas showed up looking like kaijus. After putting up what should’ve been an MVP season in 1999, Pedro Martinez went on to have an even better 2000, which is the year this game pulls its stats from. ![]() World Series Baseball 2K2 AugVisual Concepts Sega World Series Baseball? With Pedro Martinez on the cover? Didn’t I already do this one?Īs with the previous WSB game, picking Pedro for the cover is the right choice. ![]()
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